I am so mad at myself.
I should have listened to the OB when she said if you buy a doppler don't get it until you're at least 13 weeks. You might not be able to find the HB before then and you'll most likely freak out when everything is fine.
I should have taken her advice.
But what do I do, since I'm stubborn and opinionated and think I'm right more often than not? I buy the doppler and try to use it at 10w1d. And do I find the baby's HB?
Nope.
And do I freak out?
You betcha.
And do I find it when I try again the next day?
Of course I don't.
And do I freak out even more?
You have no idea.
I was in tears for hours and Nick was so mad I got the doppler early.
The problem I'm facing now is that I've heard of people on TB and on youtube (yeah I'm trusting the people on youtube - lol) who have heard the HB on the doppler at 9.5 weeks and yes some who didn't hear until around 12 weeks but I'm still freaking out. I'm also rationally thinking that my OB did say last week that my next OB appointment (which is next Wednesday at 11w2d) might be an internal ultrasound because they might not hear the HB yet on the medical grade doppler, so that should make me feel better, right?
It only slightly does. I've literally not been this terrified before in this entire pregnancy (well maybe right before the 1st u/s) and here I am at 10w4d thinking that this might not be it for me even though there isn't any real evidence to support it and even after seeing the baby measuring on track with a strong HB 3 times. Now if I was 13 weeks and couldn't find the HB I'd be a LOT more concerned, but bottom line is I shouldn't have gotten the doppler. I thought it would ease my mind in between appointments, but instead I'm now living in a state of fear. I was doing great before, actually thinking about plans and it was finally setting in that I was really pregnant and this was happening, and with one stupid purchase it all came crashing down.
Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer, I'm just not in a good place right now. Next Wednesday can't come fast enough. And I would get my appointment moved up but my OB told me not to get a doppler until much later and I really don't want to get the "I told you so." Although I'm not sure if she would react like that at all.
So I'm forgoing the bump pic and update this week because I'm just not excited this week, I'm absolutely terrified.
Try not to worry too much (I know, easier said than done!). At my OB appointment last month, when I was 14 weeks, my OB couldn't find the HB on the doppler- the medical grade one! So I had an internal ultrasound at 14 weeks so that we could at least see the HB. And everything was perfectly fine. Hopefully that puts your mind at ease a little bit. Those dopplers are bad news.
ReplyDeleteStart LOW!! Lay down on a firm surface with your knees bent. Press the Doppler down pretty firmly and angle it slightly down towards your...cervix. Move super duper slow. Try different angles in the same spot without moving the Doppler. Typically, the baby won't be on the midline...think about how big the baby is (a fig?) then think about how tiny the heart is. Try searching for it while watching TV...took me an hour the first time!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies for the tips and reassurance. I know in my mind I could be looking in the wrong place or may have missed it or it just could be too early to find it, but it just sucks when I worry! I hope your pregnancies are going well!
ReplyDeleteMake your hubby hid it for a couple more weeks!!!
ReplyDeleteOh no, do not freak out! If it makes you feel better it STILL takes the nurse several minutes to find the hb most of the time because this little one is a mover and I'm 23 weeks!! In fact, now that I think about it, they couldn't even find the hb at my 12 week appointment but since I had just had an u/s with my RE they didn't really seem to think anything of it. But I know that isn't going to ease your mind. Try laying flat on your back and just take your time and start really low.
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