My meds are here, my meds are here!!

I totally squealed out loud like a little girl when the Fed Ex truck pulled into the driveway today! I was all jumping up and down a little bit and clapping my hands and squealing. My meds are HERE!!! Yippeee!

Also, in other amazingly awesome fabulous, I can't believe it news, my insurance is awesome (how many times do you hear people say that?) which is more my company is awesome and got an great insurance policy, but the amount I'm paying for these meds is $216.37 for an IVF cycle!!!! SAY WHA???? Now I know so many women, too many to count, who are completely OOP and would have spent $3-7000 on meds and I want to say I am so incredibly thankful, grateful, you name it that my insurance is covering this. I can't even believe this and I truly wish that more women had great IF coverage. IF is a medical condition and while not similar to something like cancer, I fully believe that women should have much better coverage. Now I do have a lifetime $ max on my coverage, which after this IVF cycle I'm going to get close to hitting, but Nick and I are saving up money in case we need to do another fresh or frozen cycle, but let's hope it doesn't come to that and I get my BFP in December - that would be the best Christmas present EVAH!

I don't want to get my hopes up too much though because I know countless women who have had failed IVF cycles, even several failed IVF cycles under their belt, ones who call themselves the infertile among the infertiles, some who do get pregnant but miscarry, and the worst are woman with IF who miscarry late in their pregnancy, one women just lost her baby boy at 17 weeks. There are absolutely no possible words. I cried for her, I cried for her husband, I cried for her son, I just cried when I saw that. That's the thing about IF, it sucks out a lot of the joy that normal women feel when they get pregnant. I know if I ever get KU that I'm going to be terrified probably until viability and more likely I'll be terrified until I am holding our child in my arms. I wish I could rewind and go back to May 2011 when Nick and I first started trying and I was so naive and thought it was going to be so easy and happen so fast and that I would 100% be pregnant by Christmas. Unfortunately I can't go back, I can never have that innocence of a thought to be fertile.

But my chances for being a mom are looking up (at 50% or 65% with a stellar 5 day blast) so I'm excited. And seriously, I NEVER thought I'd be excited to get meds in the mail that can cause hot flashes, mood swings, burning or bruising, lumps in my butt, etc. but I am. I am excited that we're finally moving onto the one procedure where we actually have a shot at getting pregnant. For the first time, even more than the IUIs, I feel like there might be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Now for the obligatory meds photos!! I'm excited about seeing if I can start the Lupron on Friday - FX everything looks good and I get the green light! Oh and I'm in my last week of BCPs - woot woot!!

The full box o meds

The dreaded PIO and long IM needles

More inside the box

More needles...eeek

Vivelle dot patches I'll start after my ET

All of the meds

I used a basket I had to keep all the meds except for the Follistim which goes in the fridge.